December 2022

December introduced the start of Quantitative Data Analysis and the Visualisation of our research. Before the Winter break an insightful lecture and Q&A was broadcasted which went into the Rubric in-depth and enabled me to ask any remaining questions, I had about the Research project. A detailed lecture was held by Katharine Hill delving into Commercial Semiotics and how it can relate to my research produced so far. At this stage of the course, I was feeling quite strained and apprehensive about my report so far and started to have serious self-doubt about my work and capabilities. With being diagnosed with clinical depression in October I was starting to notice that it was having a serious adverse effect on myself and my studies. It greatly impacted aspects of Third year such as my attendance and motivation as well as affecting how I was perceiving my work and self-confidence in the assignments that I could produce. It took a toll on my physical health as well due to my mental health causing me to neglect self-care and I found myself losing passion and enjoyment in aspects of my life that I once loved and treasured. Getting to this low point in my mental health made me feel ‘burnt-out” in my studies and created a high amount of self-doubt and apprehension towards this project and University. This significantly obstructed my Research Project and put me into a mental block with where I wanted this project to go and what outcome I wanted to achieve.

In order to start my journey in bettering my mental health I relied on help from my personal tutor, friends and family in which they all supported and facilitated my first steps onto this pathway. It was challenging to balance my studies and mental health and I often found myself going in circles over December trying to get myself into a healthier place. Seeking medical advice also enabled me to focus more on my assignment, by being prescribed antidepressants it meant I could release a lot of tension and pressure I placed upon myself due to not performing as well as I wanted to in my education. Focusing back on University was difficult to do whilst balancing also working Part-Time, but with constant encouragement from those around me I was slowly starting to get back to a normal standard of research and enabled me to replan my timings for the Research Project.

Over the Winter holidays I made sure to find a healthy balance of my university work and spending time to improve my mental health. I feel as though this really benefitted me in the long run as it showed me that it was possible to achieve this and proved that with effort and time, I would be able to overcome these challenges and adapt to them in Nottingham as well. Although my mental health has impacted me negatively, I believe that it has also made me stronger and more resilient in the long run, as with my coping mechanisms and medication I have discovered a way in which I can achieve the best standard of work possible for me without letting myself become “burnt-out” and dejected. Portraying my mental health in a positive light was also hard for me but I managed to preserver and look at it in constructive way to ensure I would be able to continue to strive and try my hardest on my course.